Tuesday, October 27, 2015

Dear New Mom: What I really needed.

Our house is ever-so-quickly moving out of the baby phase. 
Some days this makes me want to cry tears of joy, but I certainly have moments that I want to cry tears of GIVE ME A BABY RIGHT NOW. OR ELSE!

I am just one mom with my own experiences, but there are a few products that I was certainly glad I had while our babies really were babies (They Will Always Be My Babies). If you have more than one child, you will quickly learn that they are all different, from day one. Sometimes even before they arrive they make that obvious.
The first thing I will say is all babies really need is food, their bottoms wiped, and to be loved. This is easy for someone to say that sleeps all night and does not keep up with pacis anymore (cue tears of joy). These things are just things, but they made having babies easier and more fun. Maybe it will help a new mom somewhere along the way!
Before I start, I will also mention that if you're having your first baby, and plan to have more, go neutral when buying the big stuff. It just makes sense. Buy a gray pack n play and throw a pink blanket over that baby girl so that future boy is not stuck in a floral one, or even worse, you feel the need to buy a second one so your boy is not surrounded by pink. Just, go neutral when you can.
  • PACIFIERs -- call it binky, passee, paci, packee, ginky, plug, wubbanubb, or stopper, some babies love 'em. I read somewhere that an infant that sleeps with a pacifier is less likely to die from SIDS, so I basically forced one on my newborns. I think the reasoning was that they don't actually sleep as soundly, which sounds crazy I know. Yes, all three of my brand new babies spit them out and I just kept making them take it, essentially forcing it (gently) back into their mouths. I did have about 3 different types for them to try when they arrived and it seemed like they all took one certain kind the easiest, so that's what we went with. I had no trouble with each of them not using it anymore when the time came. The older two stopped around 2 years old and the youngest started hating his around 9 months (stubborn personality?) so I just stopped giving it to him. I really did not want thumb suckers. You do have to keep up with the things and clean them, but eventually the pacifier is gone and they keep thumbs forever. It's not for everyone, I completely understand, but for me I can't imagine those first two years without a paci. Mine used this one here, and other common choices are here and here.
  • BOOSTER SEAT -- I have a nice high chair that we did use, but it has a cloth cover and is very tough to clean. I ended up washing the cover every couple of days because, I mean, a baby is sitting in there eating/spitting/drinking/peeing/pooping. That's all they do, alright? So if you do want a stand along high chair, I certainly suggest one that is easy to clean! What ended up being the most useful thing for us is a booster seat. This one here (Fisher Price Healthy Care Booster Seat). This thing is portable, straps to a seat, has a removable (dishwasher safe) tray, is plastic and easy to wipe down, has straps to strap the child in and the tray can be moved to three different widths. It is honestly all we would've ever needed. While we were still using the big high chair, I kept this in my car and took it in to people's houses when we were having dinner. When I remember, I still unstrap it from its normal spot and throw it in the car when we're going to someone's house. I have seen people (germophobes..I wish I was more of one) take these into restaurants that don't want their kids eating off high chairs other people's kids have done what kids do in them. Even when you prefer to have a nice, big high chair, I promise this thing comes in handy. Our four year old still sits in a booster at the kitchen table, so you'll get your money out of it. Speaking of which, you can find these in most major stores, and I have even gotten them as low as $17 on Amazon for baby gifts. If you happen to forget one at the park or something (I can't imagine what kind of scatterbrained mom of three with two dogs at home and a background in ultrasound would do that?) it's not breaking the bank to go grab another one.
  • LIGHT BLANKET --  People love to give babies blankets. Babies are not always cold. My kids are all hot sleepers, in fact. They do sleep significantly better with a blanket over them. Two of them love blankets in the car, the other has a mild heart attack if you give him anything snuggly in the car (they're all different I tell ya!). In the summer, and even in the winter when they're wearing fleece pajamas, a wool blanket is not necessary. I had a recent issue with a hand knitted blanket. My two year old is really good to hang out in his crib and roll around and sing for a while after his nap before demanding that I come get him out. He had pulled one of the pieces of yarn from a nice hand knitted blanket out into a large loop and wrapped it around his neck while doing all that rolling around. There was a scary mark around his neck when I went to get him up and I quickly banned the knitted blankets until he gets quite a bit older. That's just something to keep in mind when giving your sweet little ones a blanket.
  • NURSING ACCESSORIES -- Whether you're using formula and bottles, pumping or nursing exclusively, there are some things that are very helpful for a new mommy. BREAST PADS: Even if you don't breastfeed your newborn, you will leak. It is inevitable and obnoxious, but breast pads help keep it from getting all over you. I only needed to use them for the first few months, but I know some wear them as long as they're nursing. I used disposable ones and they were pretty much all the same to me. I also used washable ones and those were much more comfortable for me. BOPPY PILLOW: This pillow is just the right shape to wrap around your waist while nursing, or giving baby a bottle. It can free up both hands while sitting and nursing. Hours upon hours are spent somewhat trapped while feeding your baby, especially when you exclusively breastfeed, so this pillow not only allows you to have both hands available, but it also keeps you from leaning forward while nursing. That saves your back lots of aching, and also your wrists don't get as tired. It's also nice to prop brand new babies up on for one reason or another! BREAST PUMP: I was fortunate to be given a really nice breast pump and I used it a LOT with all three of our little ones. The nice ones are expensive, but if you're working and need to pump, it ends up paying for itself if you don't have to buy formula. For those that plan to nurse full-time, a hand pump is still nice to have. It can give you relief during engorgement and also give you the opportunity to leave someone with a bottle so you can be away for more than 3 hours. I had two children that took a bottle really well and one that did not. They really are all so different. ANTIBACTERIAL BAR OF SOAP: Soap? Yes, soap. Mastitis is NO FUN! Washing really well with a good bar of soap helps keep germs away from your chest and decreases the chances of mastitis.
  • EXERSAUCER -- Any kind of jumper or bouncer like this is very helpful. Sometimes you need that kid to be contained, and safe. Babies are BUSY and MESSY and ever so helpful while you're trying to...well, when you're trying to get anything productive done. I loved the exersaucer so much. They can sit in there by around 4 months and being able to contain them was wonderful. I cleaned up the kitchen with a baby watching me, but not destroying it. I would bring it into the bathroom while I took a shower. I would bring it outside on a nice day. It was just one of those things that ended up being more helpful than I could've imagined.
  • PACK 'N PLAY -- This portable play yard has served several purposes for us. Our house has two stories with our room downstairs and the kids' upstairs. For the first several months when my babies woke up at least once during the night, they slept in our room beside our bed in the Pack 'n Play. Our youngest is now two and we still use this thing when we travel. He sleeps in it well and it is so nice to have. Because of the way our stairs are shaped, I could not install a gate upstairs. I have used the Pack 'n Play up there to block the stairs so little people could not fall down them! If you opt to not get an exersaucer of any kind, a Pack 'n Play is also a great thing to use to contain your baby. Toss some toys in there and hope they stay content long enough for you to empty the dishwasher.
Here are some things I had but did not really need:
  • BABY TUB: These are certainly nice to have. I ended up putting a towel down in the bottom of the regular bathtub, putting just a little water in there and washing them in there. I hated washing the baby tub and it took up a lot of space. Before you know it, they are sitting up and won't stay in that thing anyway.
  • VIDEO MONITOR: Alright, I admit that I watched our first baby all the time and it eased my mind to be able to see her sleeping on that monitor. By the third, we didn't have a monitor at all! As you read earlier, they slept in our room for the first few months anyway. Also you just change as a parent on the third go.
  • CARRIER/SLING: They were never really very helpful for me, and seemed more trouble than it was worth. Some people love theirs, I just never used ours.
  • DIAPER GENIE: We used ours for several years, but by the third I started just throwing the diapers in the regular trash. I wrap really bad ones in a plastic grocery bag and take it straight to the outside trash. I don't miss it, and I certainly don't miss getting onto kids for lifting the top or taking out that NASTY long blue bag full of stinky diapers. '
  • BUMBO SEAT: We had one and maybe used it a couple of times, but it just wasn't really useful or helpful.
That's all I can think of for now! Feel free to comment if there are/were products for new mommies or babies you can't live without. Every home and mom and dad and baby and situation is different, so they should all be treated as such. Please, just soak up and truly appreciate those first days with a new baby. It is hard, I promise... and messy, and exhausting, and frustrating, and exciting, and a baby makes you a completely different person. It is a lot to handle all at once! But when they're gone, they're GONE!

1 comment:

  1. Fabulous list for new moms Laura! You're lists looks a whole lot like mine:) New moms...buy that booster seat now! I loved those things so much that I had one for home and kept one in the car. Even though my kids don't need them anymore, we keep them handy for guests to use. I would also highly recommend the angel care monitor. My kids did use heavier fleece blankets at times, but the most used were the thin muslin blankets (like Aden and Anais). If you have a lot of hardwood or tiled area and no stairs to fall down, then a walker is fabulous (we had the Chicco). Loving seeing all the sweet pics of your babies!!!

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